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Joke of the Day

"Before the Facebook, if someone disappeared, it meant you should go looking for them. Now it means they got a life."

"I tried to start up a business as a Ford dealership I lost my focus"

"Girls call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor."

"Why do engineers work out a lot? They're obsessed with rigid bodies!"

"Watched golf for two hours before realizing that the TV was off."

"He who goes forth with a fifth on the Fourth, may not come forth on the fifth!"

"Yo momma's so dense, she got a job at NASA... ..bending light."

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? Trump wouldn't pay $1000 to have a lentil on his face."

"What do paedophiles and tortoises have in common? They both want to get there before the hair"

"Getting a snowstorm today. They said it would start around noon, it's now 12:02, so already the meteorologists were wrong."