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Joke of the Day

"Before the Facebook, if someone disappeared, it meant you should go looking for them. Now it means they got a life."

"Plastic surgeons don't get along with me. But they bring out the breast in my wife."

"What do riding a bike and playing basketball have in common? If you're not careful, you can pop a ball."

"My wife does a HILARIOUS John Goodman impression. Doesn't hurt that she looks exactly like him."

"Black friday, ughhhh ALL FRIDAYS MATTER!"

"I went Christmas shopping at Best Buy..."

"""At least your heart's in the right place,"" I say, softly running my hand across a translucent take-out container."

"Intellectual Joke Helium walks into a bar, The bar tender says ""We don't serve noble gases in here."" Helium doesn't react."

"My psychic friend is really excited about this new year. You could say he's really looking forward to it."

"What's the best thing about being homeless... You don't have to duck and cover during an earthquake."