223619

Joke of the Day

"Keep death off our roads Drive on the pavement. . ."

"the times they are indeed a changin..but the one time thatll never change is Lunch time. lock them engagements in if you think this is good."

"Anakin: How do we get in? Obi-Wan: We'll be stealthy. *turns on huge, glowing laser sword*"

"They say we're in an economic slump, but sales of 2011 calendars have never been better!"

"What does a tornado and a woman have in common? It starts with a little blowing but at the end your house is gone"

"*Blind Date* Her: Ask me anything.. Me: Do you know how to properly layer nachos? Her: Are you seri.. Me: *flips table*"

"Why did everyone love the mushroom at the party? He was a fungi."

"If Watergate happened today it would be called Watergategate."

"Quidditch is my kind of sport. You don't have to run, you get to sit the whole time, and if things aren't going well you can just fly home."

"[jail] ME: I want my phone call COP: Ok. Make it count ME: [dials payphone] [cop's mobile rings] COP: Hello? ME: Please let me go"