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Joke of the Day

"Quidditch is my kind of sport. You don't have to run, you get to sit the whole time, and if things aren't going well you can just fly home."

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"What do you call a fish with no eyes A fsh"
"Why can't an eel and an eagle team up? Because it would be eel-eagle!"
"What do you do with a dog that doesn't have any legs? You take him for a drag."
"There's only two kinds of people in this world: people who know how to use conjunctions, but people who don't."
"Why was Jesus I such good shape? Crossfit. Why did the Romans hate Jesus so much? He wouldn't shut up about crossfit."
"what's the difference between peanut butter and jam you cant peanut butter your way in someones ass"
"Porsche designer... the most overpaid job in the world"
"You lied! Santa Claus is NOT real, mom! If ""mom"" is even your real name... [Neighbor to mom] hi Susan! *kid faints*"
"""911, what is your emergency?"" I got stuck in a beaded curtain ""Again?"" SEND HELP"