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Joke of the Day

"Anakin: How do we get in? Obi-Wan: We'll be stealthy. *turns on huge, glowing laser sword*"

"Pretty cool how Ryan Gosling's dad was Ryan Goose."

"I killed my twin because she wouldn't admit that she was the evil one."

"Beastiality is wrong. Neigh means neigh."

"What do you call Winnie The Pooh's grandmother? Poohnanni"

"The University of Alabama is the only place... where Ancestry.com and eHarmony are one and the same."

"How to check whether you have a fast PC... Click anywhere on your desktop (not on icon). Quickly press on keyboard Ctrl+A then Enter. So you will know."

"[wife frustrated] ""at least I didn't hook up the toilet wrong and tell everyone it's a bidet"""

"where does a one legged waitress work? I-HOP"

"If I could, I'd wear plaid every day. But I feel as though doing that would cross several lines."