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Joke of the Day

"Anakin: How do we get in? Obi-Wan: We'll be stealthy. *turns on huge, glowing laser sword*"

"Who pushed the neonate out an endometrium? Your mom."

"imagine getting a bj and the person's hair gets stuck in your chain wallet"

"Breaking News: Tuesdays suck just as much as Mondays."

"I started a revolution once. But I got dizzy, so i stopped!"

"A good way to break up with a girl gently is to curtsy when youre meeting her father instead of shaking his hand."

"I was a bit of a nerd in high school. Instead of chasing girls I was studying philosophy My friends always said that I put Descartes before the whores."

"In Heaven Me: I can't believe how much stuff the Bible got wrong Gid: You idiots couldn't even get my Giddamn name right"

"Remember the Scooby Doo episode where they put Scooby down and gave Shaggy the death penalty for ripping the face off an innocent person?"

"I baked my girlfriend something for Valentine's Day It was a creampie"