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Joke of the Day
"Friends are like steaks If you grill them for long enough, they become rare"
Next Joke
"""Honey, the baby sure is fussy. Why don't we go see a movie after we goto a nice, quiet restaurant?"""
"Eating With The Shakes If a person with Parkinson's is eating a brownie, Is it ""Brownie in motion""?"
"What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say before he went down the mine? I'll be black."
"I just think there are a lot more animals out there we could be eating."
"*stands near cute dude in store* ME [pretending to be on my phone]: PLEASE doctor, when will I be cured of my no gag reflex problem *winks*"
"(i crack an egg; it falls under the pan) i prefer a firm yolk (i accidentally drop my phone in the toilet) phones make us communicate less"
"What's the worst part about getting raped by an eskimo? Being forced Inuit."
"What did the boy with no legs and arms get for Christmas? Cancer"
"[wedding] i wrote my own vows *removes paper* ""chickety china the chinese chicken"" whoops wrong one *2nd paper* ""if i had $1,000,000"""