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Joke of the Day

"(i crack an egg; it falls under the pan) i prefer a firm yolk (i accidentally drop my phone in the toilet) phones make us communicate less"

"I don't believe in star signs but that's me... typical capricorn!"

"Have you seen www.shelterfromtherain.com? Yes but it doesn't really stand out."

"My position on marijuana is slumped in a beanbag chair."

"Just fyi, if you're girlfriend asks you if she should lose some weight... ""I love you through thick and thin"" is not an appropriate response."

"Where do ants go to eat ? At a restaurant !"

"My astronomy professor told me I was his star pupil."

"You ever hear of the Nazi strip club? They don't make it rain, they make it Heil!"

"What kind of bagel can fly? A plain bagel!"

"2016 is like if the state of Florida became a year."