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Joke of the Day

"[in hospital] -dude what happened? ""I got hit by a bu- [a bus taps on the window, does neck slice motion] -I mean I fell down the stairs"""

"Damn girl, are you alcohol? Because I've had too much of you and I'm going to throw up."

"What kind of doctors do elephants become? Pachydermatologists"

"What happened when a doctor crossed a parrot with a vampire? It bit his neck sucked his blood and said ""Who's a pretty boy then?"""

"Did you know Garfield the cat used to be a hip hop artist? Word is he used to rap with OdieB"

"I talk a lot of shit for a girl with a blankie."

"What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can roast beef but you can't pee soup."

"jail phone hey what do you call a phone in jail? a CELLphone :D"

"What happens when Bill Gates gets mad? He gets philanthro-pissed"

"LPT: Take your garbage can to the supermarket with you so you can see which items you've recently ran out of."