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Joke of the Day

"I hope zombies will come from Mexico. After eating their way through fat Americans, they'll be like ""Sorry little Canadians. We're full."""

"Q: What cows give each other when they meet? A: A milkshake."

"You hear about the new cemetery? People are dying to get in there..."

"America is 5 wars away from receiving a free one."

"Doing LEGO with my son is like assisting during surgery. 6yo: Flat gray piece. Me: Here. 6: 5 square red blocks. M: Here. 6: I said RED!"

"Irony walks into a bar the same time as a Coincidence. The bartender asks what they want? ""Not to be confused with each other."""

"You know you're old when you watch a horror movie where annoying, partying college kids get murdered and you identify with the killer."

"[shipwreck diary] Day 32: a plane flew over last night but I fired the only flare on day 5 to celebrate my first solid shit in over a week"

"why cant you hear a pterodactyl go pee? Dinosaurs are extinct"

"What is today's best punch line? Paul christoforo"