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Joke of the Day

"[shipwreck diary] Day 32: a plane flew over last night but I fired the only flare on day 5 to celebrate my first solid shit in over a week"

"What is amnesia? Is it: A) memory loss A) memory loss Or 3) The Battle of Hastings"

"Mitt Romney: ""I believe marriage should be between a man and a woman, and a woman, and a woman..."""

"People go to the bar hoping for two things...to get hammered or to get nailed."

"""I'm dying call me an ambulance"" Best friend: ""Ok dying, you're an ambulance"""

"I just accidentally put my mic too close to my guitar amp and I think I made a Skrillex song."

"I've just got my son a flat piece of cardboard for Christmas. Although what he wants with an ex box I'll never know."

"Has anyone woken up Green Day yet?"

"Professional liars Haven't done an honest days work in their life"

"Three nuns are sitting on a park bench. Then a man comes up and exposes himself to them. Two of them have a stroke. But the third one couldn't reach"