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Joke of the Day
"It'd be funny if everyone told their kids Steve Buscemi is the tooth fairy."
Next Joke
"When I leave a plane, I tighten the belts before I leave so that whoever sits there next will think ""wow, whoever sat here was very thin""."
"What did the butcher say when he handed his customer an empty pack of hotdogs on halloween? Happy halloweenie"
"All of my horoscopes lately have started with ""Ok, don't freak out but..."""
"Where did Santa meet his wife? Conjunction junction, they specialize in hooking up words, phrases, and Clauses"
"No officer, my car was already upside down when I got here."
"Why did the blonde stare at a frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? Because it said ""concentrate""! "
"'Calm Your Tits' is derogatory. Feminists reccomend, instead : 'De-stress the Breasts"",'Soothe your Boobs', 'Give that Chest a Rest', 'Don't have a Rack Attack' and 'Hakuna the Tattas'"
"Memories. That's how I want to be remembered."
"Hangovers: because you had so much fun, you deserve to think about it all day"