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Joke of the Day

"is there a sadder metaphor of ur adulthood destroying ur childhood than the fact that to get to work evryday u hav to burn up dead dinosaurs"

"""Sir, is this gluten free?"" The waiter nods happily ""Great,"" I shout as I collect gluten in a giant vat, ""I'm building a gluten fort!"""

"Yo mama's so fat... When she picked up a toddler the zoo keepers shot her."

"What's the rate at which racist work is done? Whitepower (Horsepower is the rate at which work is done)"

"What did one bell say to the other? ""Be my valenchime!"""

"the word 'freelancer' originally came from medieval knights who would kill evildoers for the king and THEN NOT GET PAID FOR EIGHT MONTHS"

"How many goals did Germany score? A Brazillion."

"Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks people in the face first and asks questions later."

"A Buddhist monk goes to a hot dog stand The monk says, ""Make me one with everything."""

"Old people at weddings always poke me and say your next So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals"