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Joke of the Day

"Old people at weddings always poke me and say your next So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals"

"How do you make a guitar player's car more aerodynamic? Take off the pizza delivery sign."

"Birthdays.... ... are good for health. Studied have shown that people who have more birthdays live longer"

"How do you describe eating just the right amount? Nom Nom Nominal"

"What I learned from Titanic was that u need to have sex as soon as possilble with the person u like cause u never know what might happen."

"2 goldfish are in a tank. One looks at the other and says ""YOU MAN THE GUNS, I'LL DRIVE!"" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (I'm not deleting this)"

"Teacher: Can you count to 10? Fred: Yes teacher-one two three four five six seven eight nine ten. Teacher: Now go on from there. Fred: Jack Queen King."

"""It's possible to touch birds!"" I say suddenly. My coworkers stare at me. I wander outside to touch some birds."

"A Gingerbread Man Veteran ...lost his legs in 'Nom"

"What did Luke get for pulling Darth Vader's face mask off? A 15 yard penalty."