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Joke of the Day

"Coworker: I have a degree in History. Me: That'll really come in handy if life starts going backwards."

"What's a cats favorite song? 3 blind mice"

"Usually, the one you want, is the one you can't have."

"Why do they call it the Dark Ages? Because of all the ""knights"""

"What do crossfitters call their trainers? Fairy WOD-mothers."

"Why did the poor dog chase his tail? Because he was trying to make both ends meet."

"Roses are red, Violets are red... Actually, I think my garden's on fire"

"in hell your cat can talk and he openly judges you for everything he saw you doing when you were home alone"

"I will not sleep until I find a cure for my insomnia."

"Inside me is a skinny woman screaming to get out. I can usually shut her up with a cookie."