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Joke of the Day

"How do aliens stay warm? Space heater."

"Who's the most popular guy at a nudist colony? The guy who can carry two cups of coffee and a dozen donuts."

"""Hey can you take our picture?"" ME: yea sure *takes picture* ME: wait sorry, The Flash was turned on THE FLASH: *blushing in the background*"

"I'm so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed."

"Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments often goes undetected."

"How much of this ""no more tears"" shampoo do I have to feed this baby to get it to stop crying?"

"I've got 0 problems... and math is one of them."

"You will never ever EVER get all the sand out of a suitcase you bring on vacation. EVER."

"i feel wrong i think im having a dyslexic stroke. i cant smell anything on the left side of my body and i feel toast."

"Hey guys I just discovered something... It's called Christopher Columbus. I later robbed and killed him."