210521

Joke of the Day

"[Last Supper] Jesus:""We need 13 chairs please"" Judas:""But chairs don't fall into common usage until the 16th century AD"" Jesus:""AD?"""

"Therapist: please tell me a little about what brought you both here today. Wife: We don't talk. Plus he is so literal. Me: My truck."

"My girlfriend is like the square root of 2. Irrational."

"*looks up pics of spiders on gloogle* nice nice *turns mature content filter OFF* NICE NICE"

"What do you call Nazis undergoing decomposition? Necrotizing Fascists."

"Why are trains so energetic? They have Conductors."

"""Why have a ballroom, with no Balls?"" -Disney's Frozen I paused the movie to tweet this..."

"What is a pirates favorite letter? 4"

"How are we going to know when America is officially great again? Is there going to be a party, like on a giant ship, with a banner?"

"Bonnie Tyler is performing a concert in Greece next month. She'll be singing her classic. I need a Euro."