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Joke of the Day

"A black mom has 5 kids Their names are Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone. How does she tell them apart? By their last names"

"almost hit a biker while i was texting & driving today so please you guys be careful do NOT ride bikes"

"CASHIER: [over PA] produce manager to the front pleas- *scuffle noises* ME: IF YOU SELL LETTUCE HEADS WHERE get off me WHERE ARE THE BODIES?"

"How did the mystic respond when asked what he's doing tonight? Your mommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm"

"Two necrophiles are discussing their love lives. Necrophile 1: What happened with you and Brenda? Necrophile 2: Ah, you know how it is. . .the rotten cunt split on me."

"I made a chicken salad today. Cheeky bastard didn't even eat it."

"Never marry a tennis player... Love means nothing to them."

"Does the FBI really investigate aliens like on the X-Files? No, that's what the INS does."

"The worst part about a prostate exam... is getting an erection in the middle of the exam and then them finding out you're not even a doctor."

"I was having a nightmare where a dude said he was going to kill me if I could not make him laugh... so I said... What gas leaves a pirate speechless? . . . Argon"