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Joke of the Day

"[at party] friend: is dave coming? me: cool dave or dave who likes watering holes & has amnesia? Dave: well, well, well..who do we have here"

"*takes personality test* *fails*"

"Why did 6 break up with 7? Because 7 ate 9 out"

"What do you call the foreskin on a gay guy..? Mud flaps"

"Confucius say lucky girl is girl who meets boy in park; Confucius say lucky boy is boy who parks meat in girl."

"are you the girl who has to type everything said in court? ""yes"" I'm sorry *looks back at prosecutor and answers his question as a dolphin*"

"It would be great to be born on Earth and die on Mars. Preferably not on the point of impact."

"I recently sold my vacuum cleaner all it was doing was gathering dust"

"What's the difference between an orange? One of them doesn't."

"If I got in a fight, the first thing I'd do is take off my shirt so he could see the scars where I've burned myself ironing. He'd back down."