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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food but no atmosphere"
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"My Netflix subscription feels like one of those abusive relationships people are afraid of leaving."
"Marijuana is the gateway drug to taking 45 minutes to pick out which color Gatorade you want to buy."
"Him: Sir, you don't have the experience or fitness to be a fireman. Me: But, I got a mustache! Him: That's cat fur attached with frosting."
"Why did James Comey refuse to indict Hillary Clinton? Because he found his suicide note in her Wikileaks emails."
"So I went to the proctologist.... [insert joke here]"
"she died doing what she loved: looking at her phone while crossing the street"
"Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance: the five stages of me hitting the snooze button in the morning."
"sent someone a text that said ""you need medieval catheter"" when i actually meant ""medical attention"" and i didn't bother correcting myself"
"Yo momma so smart, that she left you under the bridge long time ago. (Yeap its 51% original joke)"