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Joke of the Day

"Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance: the five stages of me hitting the snooze button in the morning."

"Q: Did you know that Clinton's cat can play Chess? A: Inside Information: The cat isn't really all that good at Chess. The last time they played best of five Clinton won three games to two."

"Why do i need to take English class in school hell George Bush became president, and he only knew 50 word. The last one being ""shoe"""

"I guess you could say Caitlyn Jenner is... Transjennered."

"Usually takes me two or three tries to correctly aim the remote at the TV, if anyone was thinking of challenging me to a duel."

"""I have $50, less than an hour, and a ton of cocaine. Let's make a commercial!"" - every furniture store owner"

"Governors that use foursquare probably get really angry when they become mayor of something."

"How do you call a man with a rabbit up his bum? A bad magician"

"Why does my van have windows? I want to make my victims feel like they have a chance."

"What helps keep your teeth together? Toothpaste."