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Joke of the Day

"Why did Star Wars episodes 4,5,6 come before 1,2,3? Because in charge of planning, yoda was."

"My fiancee asked me why I always back into parking spots... I told her ""guys typically want to just pull out"". She was not amused."

"What do a black guy and a paraplegic have in common? They're both only three fifths of a person"

"A magician was walking down the street .... and he turned into a grocery store"

"Before snapping your neck, Chuck Norris will tell you the best shampoo you should have used."

"She says she only drinks wine to collect corks for her Pinterest project, which is pretty cool cause it looks like she's building a castle."

"Someone Told me that Airplanes are the Safest Way to Travel... Now my friend has a Cessna in his living room..."

"Did you hear about the crazy Mexican train thief? He had loco motives."

"What's hairy and flies through the air? Jonathan Livingstone Gorilla!"

"DETECTIVE: TELL US WHERE THE STOLEN BANK MONEY IS HIDDEN ROBBER: Nope, but I WILL give you a series of clues DETECTIVE: ok this sounds fun"