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Joke of the Day

"So I broke up with my German girlfriend. She said I didn't pay enough attention and suggested I attend a concentration camp."

"Who's the biggest player in the Hundred Acre Wood? Eeyore, he's always chasing that tail."

"''Dyslexic man walks into a bra''"

"If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattracitve... ...eventually they would find me attractive."

"Who Is every lumberjack's favourite director? TIMBURRRTON!"

"[Jesus at Last Supper] *breaks bread* This is my body *pours wine* This is my blood *opens jar of mayo* Judas: I'm gonna stop u right there"

"Jesus was the only man to return from the dead and not eat brains."

"Sometimes it's hard to nap at work. Like, when the boss is standing beside you or when you don't have a job."

"I want a romantic comedy trailer that starts, ""Ben was looking for love in all the wrong places,"" and then shows Ben digging up a grave."

"I told my son I was an early adopter. He asked, what tech? Then it got weird."