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Joke of the Day

"If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattracitve... ...eventually they would find me attractive."

"What do you call a man with his big toe above his shin? Tony"

"date: and then after traveling to Iceland I decided to get my MBA me: date: me: I went to Arby's 7 times yesterday"

"wife: Why was that guy yelling at you? [flashback to me ignoring the ""one per customer"" sign] me [with a mouthful of cheese samples] No idea"

"Why did I cross the road? Because your mom was on the other side.."

"Instead of my usual Monday snark I'm going to be upbeat and have a great day LOLJK today will ass rape my spirit animal with its angry fist."

"An Irishman, an Englishman and a Welshman walk into a bar... but none of them are xenophobic, so they all have a wonderful time."

"Why did dave go into the backseat? Because kurt called shotgun."

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt."

"So, a mate of mine has come back from a air conditioning course He now has 'A license to chill'....."