221970

Joke of the Day

"Just texted her ""thanks for choking on me"" I meant ""checking"" but kinda curious what the response is gonna be."

"I don't care how hardcore you are. If you don't cry when Dumbo visits his mommy in elephant jail, you have no soul."

"What do a pizza boy and a gyneocologist have in common? They both smell it but can't eat it."

"A knight walks into a bar The barman says ""Why the long mace?"""

"I'm a dirty bird. *shits on your windshield*"

"Where did Zooey Deschanel grow up? In Albu-quirky."

"What do Catholic priests and the Zika Virus have in common? They both give kids a little head."

"How did the turtle call his friends? ...on his shellphone"

"Unknown numbers calling and leaving 3 seconds of silence as a voicemail is the greatest unsolved mystery of my life."

"Came up with a somewhat original dead child joke today. How is a ten year old different from a pizza? Pizza doesn't beg for you to finish it off when you only eat half of it."