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Joke of the Day

"""This is the bomb!!!"" --'90s terrorist"

"Why does 71 like 68? Because 68 69 70."

"My cleaning lady always leaves me a list of supplies she needs to clean the house. Not sure what she needs 20 boxes of cold medicine though"

"What do you call the Asian-Mexican master race from outer space? Illegal Aryans"

"I tried to be gay once.. But I couldn't fit in."

"We'd have serious problems if Peter Jackson ever became president. He'd look at World Wars I and II and see them as an unfinished trilogy."

"I was offered a threesome with a Japanese guy but I turned it down, after all, you know what they say about Japanese penises... ...they're really blurry."

"Mission Impossible? He's done four of them now. Let's call it ""Mission Pretty Hard but Ultimately Doable"""

"My grandpa was one of the Holocaust survivors... But then again, most guards survived."

"I called my friend in North Korea and asked how he was. He said he couldn't complain."