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Joke of the Day

"A son says to his father... A son says to his father ""Dad, I forget. Am I awesome or fantastic?"" The father replies ""No son, you're autistic."""

"What did Arnold Schwarzenegger do after he retired? He became an ex-terminator!"

"Deaf people have no idea why the rest of us think farts are funny."

"""This is the police! Put your hands up where I can see 'em!"" ""But I can't-"" ""Now!"" *t-rex panics*"

"Why did the forgetful Mexican cross the road? To get to the other side... err, no it was to pick up the laundry... nope, to get groceries? I forget."

"Jeb says hes good at fixing things and I don't doubt him... People who voted in Florida during the 2000 presidential election know what I'm *talkin* about."

"The camera adds 10 pounds. The front facing iPhone camera adds 437 pounds."

"What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile! XD"

"Random number generator Two programmers discuss: - I need a random number generator. Do you have something? - 27"

"An Irishman saw a notice outside a police station which read: MAN WANTED FOR ROBBERY. So he went in and applied for the job!"