222561

Joke of the Day

"I really love Bruce Willis. I have all of his movies, hundreds of posters, and multiple autographs You might say that I'm a die-hard fan"

"HR: Sir, why is your secretary standing with tens of underwear in hand? Boss: Damn, I asked her to debrief all the interns before the meeting."

"I need to thank the guy who honked while waiting for my parking spot for inspiring me to stay & write my memoirs in this Target parking lot."

"Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he never never lands!"

"The bonus of simple origami is twofold."

"I was at the pet shop, and said ""I'd like to buy a wasp."" ""We don't sell wasps,"" they said. ""Then why do you have one in the window?"""

"Why does the man go to the beach when he's hungry? Because of the sand which is there."

"My dog ate a bunch of tissues yesterday. Looks like his ass is going to wipe itself for awhile."

"My girlfriend would never propose to me. She doesn't have the balls."

"I was given MDMA and LSD tonight... What a shit way to start a game of Scrabble."