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Joke of the Day
"I was given MDMA and LSD tonight... What a shit way to start a game of Scrabble."
Next Joke
"They say ""confidence"" is the most attractive quality in a partner. But I'd have to say ""not banging my friends"" would be a very close 2nd"
"What do you call it when a midget realizes he's gay? Coming out of the cupboard."
"Go sport ball! Game time! Yelling and outfits! Beer! You guys are bad! We are good! Sports yelling! Bright colors! #sports"
"A man goes to the bar And he asks the bar tender Man: ""What taste good? Tender: I usually like rum in Diet Coke. Man: how do you get a Roman in a Diet Coke? Tender: *facepalm*"
"Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? -> He uses the finest ingredients."
"Cop: can u describe your attacker Me: super aggressive, with a big nose & powerful arms Cop: u just described a seagull Me: he took my chips"
"I caught my wife in bed with a banana last night... She was masticating."
"I hear they designed the newest iPhone to fit perfectly in your hand, right where your money used to be."
"Remember when Muhammad Ali died? Yeah, neither does he."