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Joke of the Day
"Why does a vampire clean his teeth three times a day? To prevent bat breath."
Next Joke
"How to meet a girl: 1) Walk into a bar. 2) Shout ""Heroes in a half shell."" 3) When a girl yells back ""Turtle Power,"" marry her."
"Scientists finally discovered how an elephant trumpets. Maybe now they can get back to curing cancer..."
"""God hates fogs"" - homophobic clouds"
"My wife divorced me because I'm still making april fools pranks. April fools!"
"How does the man on the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it."
"I said to my wife, ""You look like a million pounds.""... I said to my wife, ""You look like a million pounds."" ""Don't you mean dollars?"" she replied. ""I know what I mean,"" I said."
"One of my ongoing office fantasies involves a coworker walking by my desk while I'm actually working"
"Miss piggy Did u know that when she counts Miss Piggy never gets to 70? She gets to 69 and end up with a frog in her throat"
"War Machine is such a hard worker... That he even took his work home with him."