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Joke of the Day
"Why does a vampire clean his teeth three times a day? To prevent bat breath."
Next Joke
"Why does Islam get angry if you criticize their religion? Im not sure they always seem to blow things up out of proportion."
"Nobody Likes This. I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This."
"What is the opposite of /r/upliftingnews? /r/news"
"What did Michael Fox bring to baby Jesus? Parkincense."
"What did the Loch Ness Monster say to his friend? Long time no sea."
"Use this to start a conversation with a stranger. ""On a hot day nothing feels more relaxing then butt chugging a slushy. Say, do you have a funnel?"""
"Be right back. -Godot"
"TIL that a baby can recognize its mother's heartbeat due to how much time they spent inside their mom I can also recognize your mom's heartbeat."
"Imagine how expensive the iPhone would be if they called themselves Organic Apple."