81986

Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend's a bouncer I only found out because I saw her fall out of a window."

"Why do women close their eyes during sex? They hate to see men have a good time."

"What do you call your saggy old midwife? Me doula oblongota"

"True love is when they look at you, see you're batshit insane, and love you anyway."

"I quit drugs, and it made everyone happy. Except for my lamp. It won't talk to me anymore."

"if you're hiding from a deranged killer and forget to put your phone on silent, at least make the ringtone the benny hill theme."

"He-Man wasn't gay. He was just uninterested in Teela and was very good friends with a man named Fisto."

"What do you call someone who points out the obvious? Someone who points out the obvious."

"It was so hot when we went on holiday last year that we had to take turns sitting in each other's shadow."

"My friend asked why his computer kept crashing. I told him, 'because they can't drive' . (Girlfriend told me this joke)"