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Joke of the Day

"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... ...Bad-um Tst"

"i only watch superbowl for the commercials.i am unsure how to spend my surplus income &desperately need suggestions via talking animals"

"I like my women like I like my Building 7. Going down for no reason. That's a conspiracy reference that 9 out of 11 people don't get. It's an inside joke."

"I wish my car's navigation could take human form so I can punch it in the face."

"I went to buy a bag of air... They accidentally put potato chips in it."

"What's the currency in space? Starbucks"

"A man goes to the doctor and says; Patient: wow, this has to be the smallest doctor's office in the world. Doctor: Get the f*** out of here! I'm taking a shit!"

"Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night."

"My dream job? That's easy: Be one of those Muppets that sit up in balcony making fun of everyone. That's Old School Twitter."

"Republican parents have no problem buying toy guns for their kids. Democrats refuse to do so. That is why their kids pretend to shoot each other with dolls."