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Joke of the Day

"Singin' in the Rain is a beloved Oscar-winning classic, but singin' on the train will get you harsh stares and a six seater all to yourself."

"New drinking game Take a shot everytime they ask ""Are we there yet"" I've gone through two bottles of vodka at mile 149"

"[Biker gang] ME: Do we or do we not ride our bikes at the same speed? BIKER: OK, but you need to stop saying we ""synchronize our cycles."""

"The best way to get over someone is probably with your car"

"Smooth jazz always puts me to sleep... ...must be the mellow tonin'."

"Cat: Lame. Just lame. Me: Shut up. Not everyone goes out Friday nights u know. Cat: Leave extra food out. Im bringing a girl home. Me: ...ok"

"I went into a book shop and asked for a book about turtles ""Hardback"" said the woman behind the counter ""Yes"" I replied, ""and small heads"""

"When I say I go to the gym religiously, that usually means every christmas and easter."

"An English man asked an American how he liked his tea The American replied, ""in the harbor."""

"A horse walks into a French bar... ...and the barman says, ""I'm afraid you will have to leave, Monsieur Horse. We do not serve food in here."""