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Joke of the Day

"I went into a book shop and asked for a book about turtles ""Hardback"" said the woman behind the counter ""Yes"" I replied, ""and small heads"""

"What is big hairy and can fly ? King Kongcorde !"

"I've often wondered, how do devout Christians handle being raped? Y'know, with that whole ""turn the other cheek"" thing?"

"I went to the library and tried to take home a book on suicide The librarian said ""fuck off, you won't bring it back!"""

"When you go to a cannibal restaurant, always bring a friend to have for dinner."

"Corn Nuts is the name of a delicious snack treat. And a horrible medical condition."

"How do people lose their kids at the mall? Seriously, any tips would be greatly appreciated."

"4yo daughter: No matter how much I wipe there's still poo Me: *blocking people on twitter* Same, baby"

"An Irishman walks out of a bar.... What? It could happen."

"North Korea is back online after internet outage. Sources say South Korea changed the wifi password."