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Joke of the Day
"My new years resolution for 2012 is to figure out how calendars work"
Next Joke
"Changed my name in Mrs.B's phone to 'Marty McFly'. Sent her a text saying 'be outside Argos at 12pm - we're going back'. She hasn't txt back"
"What do you call it when a spider gets a pimple? Arachne"
"I finally found a diet plan that works. It's called ""The cost of food""."
"What should you do if there is a blackout at night? Call the police, they'll come and shoot it."
"""Here, let me fill your head with a bunch of opinionated bullshit that's not actually news"" - Every major news outlet"
"When I die, PLEASE don't bury me in a fancy suit. That happened to a guy I knew and it turned him into a skeleton."
"Why do tumblr users make for poor gunmen? They are afraid of triggers."
"What did Obama say to Michelle when he proposed? ""I don't wanna be obama self."""
"I ate too many rowing paddles Now I feel oar-full"