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Joke of the Day

"CarefulWhere's your shoesPlease stop cryingMaybe eat somethingYou dropped the bottle- things you say to babies & drunks."

"Why was the scarecrow promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field!"

"Don't mess with me! I've got a black belt... It's brown on the other side."

"A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge asks, ""First offender?"" She replied: ""No, first a Gibson, and then a Fender."""

"[posing for mugshot] ""now turn forward"" [flash] lemme see"

"Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy. Jack got a shock, with a mouth full of cock, to find out Jill's real name was Randy."

"Drive-thru worker just recoiled in horror when I rolled down my window & she got walloped by a bucket of moist farts."

"Why are rubber tires black? So the police know what to shoot at during a chase"

"""Unhand me you cad!"" I shriek, before turning disappointedly to see that I've only caught my shirt in the silverware drawer."

"So, two elephants are in a bathtub, when one of them says, ""pass the soap"", and the other one says, ""No soap: Radio!"""