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Joke of the Day

"A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge asks, ""First offender?"" She replied: ""No, first a Gibson, and then a Fender."""

"I hate hipsters Their vegan diets, whiskery faces, tiny feet, and sawdust bedding. Oh wait, hamsters, I hate hamsters"

"One-Liners The attraction to redheads is a lot like being addicted to drugs."

"Sometimes when I'm bored I send a text to a random number saying, ""ok they're dead, what do I do with the body?"""

"I didn't know when your wedding was because you spelled out the date and time like a goddamn medieval sorcerer."

"My dad annoyed my mom calling her ""Mother of 7"" until the day she called him ""Father of 4""."

"What's something a gay man can't live without? Water"

"Did you know when a man masturbates he generates 5 BTU of energy.. So if you had 5000 men in a room masturbating, it would be extremely gay."

"what do you call cheese thats not yours. someone elses cheese. what else would it be."

"My boyfriend recently called me his woman And now we're living in the jungle, wearing deer skin and hunting for food"