221999

Joke of the Day

"Mickey Mouse and Minnie are in divorce court... The judge asks, ""So what's going on Mickey, is she just crazy or something?"" Mickey replies, ""No, your Honor. She's fucking Goofy."""

"We all knew that Jared Fogle loves the Subway Turkey Sub... but now we find out he likes to sneak a little salami into the bun too"

"What do fish call a submarine? Unidentified Floating Object"

"I'm going on a seafood diet for the holidays... that is, I see food and I eat it."

"What do Alexander Skarsgard and Ikea have in common? Swedish meatballs"

"If we are talking and I reach up and slowly turn my bear suit head around backward, our conversation is over."

"My superpower is turning food and drink into larger pants."

"It's only 8:30 am and I've managed to work ""rock out with your cock out"" into a conversation. This day is already a winner."

"My coworker who believes Jesus Christ was the immaculately conceived son of God who rose from the dead can't believe it's Monday already."

"Pretty much the only time I WANT to hear about your ex is if she's standing behind me with a weapon, other than that I'm good."