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Joke of the Day

"It's only 8:30 am and I've managed to work ""rock out with your cock out"" into a conversation. This day is already a winner."

"What do you call a cow that stopped producing milk? An udder failure."

"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter."

"If the Swiss Army knife is so good.... How come the Swiss army never fights?"

"My wife complains that I never open the car door for her, but when I do she's all, ""Stop it, you're driving too fast! We're on a bridge!"""

"What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? Mumbai!"

"Told my kid he better not steal another candy bar cuz ""we don't have time to get arrested"" if you're looking for a parenting role model."

"me: ah, now I will drift gently off to dreamland. refrigerator: I SHALL MAKE US SOME ICE CUBES"

"People who talk to themselves are more intelligent then those who don't, or at least that's what I like to tell myself."

"Boyfriend Test: Sour Skittles in one hand. Peanut Butter M&Ms in the other. Which do you choose? WRONG. Neither. Don't ever take my candy."