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Joke of the Day

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? It's an obscure number and you've probably never heard of it."

"A photon checks into a hotel. The bellhop says ""can I take your bags?"" ""No,"" she answers, ""I'm traveling light."" *(I'm new to the community, this is best I've got, I'm sorry)*"

"What is a traitor's favorite food? Eggs Benedict"

"What's black and eats pussy? Cervical cancer..."

"I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over."

"Where did the crab work inside her new job at the pizza factory? At the crust station."

"Good thing I don't see any political posts on my news feed In fact, my Myspace friends haven't really posted much since 2010."

"Have you heard about the humble farmer? He's a grower, not a shower."

"I just don't get life insurance. Why would I want to give my family a financial incentive to kill me?"

"Kleptomaniacs are the worst hecklers. They always steal the punch..."