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Joke of the Day

"I came up with a shoe company that specializes in selling oversize shoes Which is no small feat"

"I farted on the train and 4 people turned around. Felt like I was on The Voice. (Not an original joke)"

"What's the difference between a Mercedes and Princess Diana? The Mercedes can easily reach 40."

"Someone explain why clothes are so expensive? I should not have to pay this much to not be naked. People should pay ME to not be naked"

"Why did the lizard go on a diet ? It weighed too much for its scales !"

"My girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, i thought she was joking.. ..and then i saw her face."

"One day you're going to meet the girl of your dreams And she won't want your money She won't want your house, or your car She won't want you either ;)"

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I'd never pay to have a lentil on my face"

"I think I've figured out Dr Who's first name Guess"

"Jesus Christ fed 2,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish... ... but Adolf Hitler made 6 million Jews toast."