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Joke of the Day

"Tried to take my girlfriend to get a physical.... ...they kept turning me away saying ""sir, this is a palm reader"""

"What's the difference between a hold-up and a stick-up? Age"

"What's sexier than roses on a piano? Tulips on an organ!"

"Why did the dung beetle go to rehab? He was rolling balls."

"Every 3 seconds, a girl with a pink cell phone case uses the wrong ""your."""

"I forgot my work ethic at home today, but I did remember to bring my shenanigans and debauchery."

"How do you get a fat girl into bed ? Piece of cake"

"Like something you'd find on laffy taffy On a scale of 1-10 how high was Carl? 420"

"Disliking the social justice crowd is to hating social justice as disliking the song ""We Are the World"" is to hating starving children."

"Remember, guys, every day is a gift. Filled with unreturnable things you didn't ask for and don't want."