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Joke of the Day

"*Makes joke on Twitter* *5 Retweets* *Makes same joke on Facebook* *5 comments from aunts saying that the joke was inappropriate*"

"i just flew in and boy are my arms tired from jacking off on the plane a whole lot"

"[restaurant] ME: Excuse me, this alphabet soup tastes funny WAITER: Well it is Comic Sans"

"Good morning babe! Do you like good girls? [Starts making you breakfast] or bad girls [burns the toast] Him: How did you get in my house?"

"Why did microsoft go straight to windows 10 ? They were trying to keep their german market."

"Did you hear about the elephant who farted in a chalice? You'd heard if you were in the chalice"

"Canadian and a American watching a movie Canadian: Lets watch a movie. American: Have you seen Titanic? Canadian: What's that about? American: Yes, it was. A big one that sank."

"Wanna hear a joke? Psych"

"What's Homer Simpsons favourite toy? Bart."

"DEODORANT: ugh i hate my job, gotta go in his gross armpit all the time TOILET PAPER: bro"