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Joke of the Day

"i just flew in and boy are my arms tired from jacking off on the plane a whole lot"

"Did you hear about the med student caught picking up hookers? He claimed he was studying whore moans."

"The lesbian couple next door got me a Rolex for my birthday. I think they misunderstood what I meant by ""I wanna watch"""

"Only 90s kids will remember this (picture of burning buildings in Sarajevo) Wait wait no (picture ofmass graves in Bosnia) Wait no. Hold on"

"A cow fell off a truck in Russia They say he hadn't been Put in properly."

"A new scientific study regarding pizza determines who is most susceptible to burns. Turns out it is the Hipsters because they eat it before it's cool."

"1942: How can we beat the Nazis? 1968: How can we go to the moon? 2006: How can a phone be a supercomputer? 2016: How can we beat the Nazis?"

"What is the difference between a bad haircut and a good haircut? 2-3 weeks tops."

"I can't wait to listen to the new Kelly Rowland album... I believe it's called ""Milk, Milk"""

"Great, so a week ago my doctor gave me a letter, which confirmed that I have dyslexia... and now I've received one that says I have tiny tits. Oh no wait, tinnitus."