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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the paperboy who masturbated on the job? It was all over the news! (Can't remember where I heard this, so sorry if its a repost)"

"The police station installed ""Safe Spots"" for Craigslist sales... Which is great because I always met in a park under a tree but it always seemed so shady."

"Why is there no Windows 9 ? Because Windows 7 8 9."

"""If you were a spy and having drinks at a spy bar, what would you want?"" ""I could tell you, bud, I'd have tequila."""

"Ted Cruz is complaining about ""liberal fascism,"" so I guess he's just stringing random unrelated words together, like ""potato doorknob."""

"I've bought up all the Scrabble games I can get my hands on. I heard there's a lot of money in text tiles."

"I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, ""Well, that's not going to happen."""

"I'm way more unique than everyone else who likes the same esoteric bullshit as me."

"did you hear about the cannibal in school? it was a struggle, but eventually he passed the class."

"One of my oldest friends is my receding hairline... We go way back."