18977

Joke of the Day

"I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, ""Well, that's not going to happen."""

"When someone with a lisp says bismuth... You know they mean business."

"Did you hear what happened to the guy whose left arm and left leg got chopped off? He's dead."

"Started my new healthy diet today. Breakfast is 2 almonds, I lick an apple for lunch, and dinner is yelling at a picture of myself naked."

"RIP hacker who was spying on me through my Laptop's camera. Died of boredom"

"France declared war on al Qaida yesterday. Thank God, for someone needed to teach the terrorists how to surrender."

"How do you know if an Asian is depressed? All around them are familiar faces, worn out places, worn out faces."

"Why does Sirius Black get all the girls? Because he's a real dawg."

"Why does Dracula always travel with his coffin? Because his life is at stake."

"What did Cholera say to Malaria? Are you gonna Jaundice on Saturday?"