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Joke of the Day

"I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, ""Well, that's not going to happen."""

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"I used to play water polo But I had to stop when my horse drowned"
"How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at him/her!"
"i wish i lost weight as fast as i lose motivation"
"What's the difference between a rooster and a hooker? a rooster says cocka-doodle-doo a hooker says any cock will do."
"Believe what a plumber says They've seen some shit."
"Why did they have to stop playing water-polo in Poland? All the horses drowned"
"Nothing turns your world upside-down more than realizing you've been singing the wrong lyrics for 20 years."
"Why is Santa always happy? Because he knows where the naughty girls live. (a kid told me this one)"
"What do you call a bear in the rain? A drizzly bear."