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Joke of the Day

"Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one - but the guitarist has to show him first."

"Whats a pirates favorite letter? It be the ""C""!"

"If you've ever wondered what it's like to try to dress a jelly fish, here, try to get pants on my toddler"

"Why does light travel faster than sound? Because some people appear bright until you hear them speak."

"The urgent care center in town was torn down... ...it was clinically depressed"

"A spider crawled into my keyboard earlier. It's okay, I've got him under Ctrl."

"My waterproof phone is advertised in commercials with people surfing and kayaking and here I am tweeting in the shower."

"'Here's a good book' said the sales assistant in the book shop to Mrs Monster. 'How To Help Your Husband Get Ahead.' 'No thank you' said Mrs Monster. 'My husband's got two heads already. . .'"

"The people you lose sleep over don't lose sleep over you. So, help out and drunk dial them at 3AM...."

"What is a gay dinosaur called? Nsfw Megasorass"