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Joke of the Day

"Don't shop when hungry. Don't date when horny. Don't update your status when drunk"

"What do you call a rich black man? A tycoon."

"What did the left leg say to the right leg? Between me and you, we need a haircut. (I got this from some UK magazine years ago)"

"Captain America Civil War Joke. What's War Machines favorite dance move? The Crawlington"

"Ready to earn money staring at my screen all day so I can afford to go home & stare at my screen all night, repeating the process unto death"

"What do you call it when a bunch of stoned poets overthrow the government? A Haiku."

"I once swore in an elevator. It was wrong on so many levels."

"Why do they call it PMS? Because mad cow disease was already taken."

"I don't eat some foods. -vagueans"

"Want to play the rape game? said Guy. ""No"" said Girl. ""That's the spirit!"" said Guy. Girl is now screwed."