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Joke of the Day

"Did I miss the Limerick fad? There once was a fellow from Kent, Whose cock was so long that it bent. To save him some trouble, He'd put it in double. And instead of coming, he went."

"*slowly pulls up in a car next to you when ur walking on the sidewalk* ""why did u favorite that instead of retweeting it?"""

"I recently started dating a woman in a wheelchair, and I stood her up. Not surprisingly that's when she fell for me...and you know what, it became a bit of a drag...but now we're on a roll."

"If Trump wins tonight... He'll be the first person to go from P.O.S. to P.O.T.U.S."

"The Anesthesiologist has become Comfortably numb."

"How do people see so much on internet these days? They put on the Google!"

"Did you hear about the vegan cannibal? He only ate quadraplegics. Credit to: http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2noeoo/what_bullshit_fact_can_you_come_up_with_that/cmfd0bj for the inspiration"

"What does a virgin eat for breakfast? Has it been that long (Depending on the audience, it may be important to complete with a comedic pause and) ... ... since breakfast?"

"HIV has never been THE virus to have... Because it's always been retro."

"What my girlfriend thought, first 4 dates: 1. Nice shirt. 2. Wow. A second nice shirt. 3. Okay, first shirt again. 4. He has two shirts."