17991

Joke of the Day

"I've only taught my parrot to say ""REPETITION"" so far. Next I'm going to teach him to say ""IRONY AND ANNOYING ARE SYNONYMS"". ""SQUAWK!"""

"Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are talking. Harry says, ""Ron, I'm gay."" ""Are you fucking serious?!"" asks Ron. ""Yeah...that too,"" says Harry."

"What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? One goes... *WHACK*...""Dang it!"" And the other goes... ""Dang it!""...*WHACK*"

"a white girl drowned today when her anchor tattoo pulled her to the bottom, sadly her infinity tattoo didnt mean she'd live forever"

"A man goes to the proctologist The doctor gave him a thumbs up."

"Why did the Time Traveler give Julius Caeser a BJ? He wanted to go down on history."

"In light of recent events, I have no choice but to deduct a full star from my Yelp review of Earth."

"What's the capital of Greece? (x-post from /r/MeanJokes) About 10. DISCLAIMER: I heard this joke from /u/r4e3d2d2i8t5. All due credit to that person."

"I was going to say a dead baby joke... but I decided to abort"

"How many ears does Spock have? The left ear, the right ear and the Final Front-ear."