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Joke of the Day

"A wise man once told me that you should love with your heart and use your head for everything else He died of a concussion"

"To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: You can hide, but can't run!"

"I'm beginning to believe that my road worker friend is a kleptomaniac.. So I went to his house to confront him and all the signs were there."

"A Roman walks into a bar He holds up two fingers and says to the bartender, ""Five beers, please."""

"A man with a lute... ..went to the pub for a drink, but the bouncer stopped him and said, ""Sorry mate, you're bard."""

"Caution: Cutting corners may lead to extra corners."

"Why parents don't allow their children to listen to M. Jackson songs? because they are very touching"

"What happened to Hillary Clinton's emails? [deleted]"

"Walmart keeps two elderly people on staff at all times: one to greet you, and one to walk slowly in front of you on the way out."

"I love pteradons They're my favorite dinosoars."