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Joke of the Day

"A man with a lute... ..went to the pub for a drink, but the bouncer stopped him and said, ""Sorry mate, you're bard."""

"A liberal, a conservative and a moderate walk into a bar. The bartender says ""Afternoon, Mitt! What can I get for you?"""

"What is the interior temperature of a Tauntaun? Lukewarm"

"I always close the door to the bathroom even if I'm home alone. What if someone broke in and saw me peeing? That would be so embarrassing"

"What do you call a snobby thief running down your stairs? A condescending con descending."

"Why do people keep a picture of their wife and kids in their wallet? To remind them why there's no money in it"

"I was injured in a violent mugging this afternoon. On the plus side, I did make $23 and I think this old lady's watch looks really good on me."

"When A Man Becomes Rich He Becomes Naughty When A Woman Becomes Naughty. She Becomes Rich"

"How many blind men would it take to change a light bulb? Why the fuck would a blind man need a light bulb?"

"Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris threw a grenade and 50 people died, then the grenade exploded."